Jigoku Shōnen
by InsaneNarutard0111
Summary: Hidan has pulled the red string on Kakuzu, and a mysterious girl immediately carries out his vengeance. She’s looking for a partner, and offers him the choice of either being sent to Hell when he dies, or taking the place as her helper for eternity.
1. Prologue

Hi! Here's a crossover for watergoddesskasey! I know, my choice of characters might be a little deranged to you, but come on, Hidan is the harbinger of death in Naruto, and Enma Ai is for Hell Girl! They go together! Whatever. Here's the prologue:

* * *

That was it. The last straw, the final stroke, whatever you want to call it, but that was the last of his patience, and that old _ragdoll _of a bastard had just spent it. Hidan's rituals were taking a little longer than normal, and Kakuzu had complained one too many times for him to handle.

So, using his last and most desperate resort, Hidan pulled the red string from the black straw doll that had been given to him by the _Jigoku Shōjo_, or Hell Girl, as most called her. Kakuzu was immediately whisked away to the Underworld.

He could clearly remember the day he had submitted his former partner's name to the Hotline to Hell.

_-Flashback-_

"Enter" Hidan said out loud as he clicked the small button underneath the name field.

As soon as 'Kakuzu' had been sent, a black flame appeared in the middle of the screen, and in its reflection, he saw a girl behind him.

He turned around, horror-struck as to how she could have gotten there so fast, and without him noticing.

"W-who are you?" he choked out, too shocked to swear.

"I am Enma Ai. Take this" she handed him a doll made of black straw with a thin crimson thread tied around its neck.

"Untie this red string if you really desire revenge" she said.

Hidan looked up at her, then back at the doll, ready to pull the band from it.

"However."

He paused, listening intently to whatever it was this girl had to say.

"If you do this, you will sign a contract with me. The person you wish vengeance on will be taken straightaway to Hell. But, when you curse someone, 2 graves are dug. When you die, your soul will be sent to Hell as well."

Hidan looked back at Ai, contemplating whether or not she could be trusted.

She turned to leave.

"Wait!" He yelled, and grabbed her hand.

She looked back at him, silently prompting him to continue.

"If I do this, I will definitely be sent to Hell… right?" he asked quietly.

The girl nodded.

"Even if it is another religion? One that I don't follow?"

She nodded again. Hidan sat back in his seat, really starting to wonder if he should do this.

"You aren't like the others…"

"What?" he stared at Ai.

"You fight for your own god, sacrificing them out of your own will, though no one asked you to. You may be useful…" and with that, Hell Girl disappeared, leaving a very bewildered Jashinist in his seat.

He sat there for about a minute, thinking that this girl, Enma Ai, was it? Looked one heck of a lot like someone he knew...

"Wait a minute… pale skin… black hair… red eyes… ITACHI!!!"

* * *

So? Yeah, I know, I partly used the name of the episode where Hidan dies in Enma Ai's little explanation there, but that's ok.  
For those of you who've read my other stories, "They're Here", "Different", and "12 Demented Days of Christmas", you should know what the Cycle of Awesomeness is! Tell me how awesome this was, what made it awesome, how not awesome it was, why it wasn't awesome, and stuff that'll make its awesomeness factor shoot up!  
No flames. You flame me, and I'll use Shoton: Hishin no Yaro, Crystal release: Arrow of Light on you.  
Guren: yikes...  
... yeah. Thanks!  
-InsaneNarutard0111


	2. At Ungodly Hours

Dag, I haven't updated this thing in a while... 'course, I haven't had the time to. Oh well...

* * *

At Ungodly Hours

"Itachi, what the _****_ were you doing in my room wearing a ****-ing girl's sailor uniform, giving me a ****-ed up black voodoo doll, and telling me I'd be ****-ing useful, huh?" Hidan glared at the Uchiha from the doorway.

"Hidan-San, has the human sacrificing finally gotten to your head?" was all he got as a reply from the very-rudely-awakened ninja.

"Don't be ****-ing stupid with me, ok, *sshole? I don't know who the **** it was, but there was _someone_ in my room that was really pale, had black hair, and red eyes, and no one else in this entire ****-ing organization matches that description except for you, bastard."

He got slightly-more-than-kind-of-freaked-out by how much this Enma Ai character looked like the man in front of him did, now that he saw him up-close.

"And no, I don't wanna know what you'd look like in a girl's ****-ing sailor outfit" he added, and just for safe measure,

"Forgive me and my horrible thoughts, Jashin-Sama. I'll offer you 10 virgins as atonement as soon as this ****-ing matter's done and over with."

Hidan faded into his little religious world for a moment, before returning his attention to the accused.

Itachi just looked more annoyed than he already was in his own bizarre, unfazed way.

"Hn… I suggest you stop staying up all night doing your rituals, and get some actual sleep, Hidan-San. I believe your inhuman Insomnia has affected how you think."

_'That is, if you even _can_ think…' _he thought to himself.

"Now, would you kindly leave me so I can catch up on my own rest now?" and right after that, he yawned an extremely exhausted yawn and passed out.

Hidan stalked off without another word, running every swear he knew- plus a few he made up himself –through his head, too irritated to actually voice them.

Once he reached his room, he fell onto his bed, thinking very hard about what Itachi told him.

_"… your inhuman Insomnia has affected how you think…"_

"No ****-in' way…" he said out loud, turning on his side.

_'But what if he's right? What if my lack of sleep really is screwing up my brain? What if that girl was just a figment of my imagination? Nothing more?'_

Hidan seemed to ease up at this new idea of Hell Girl being a hoax.

Feeling a little better, he decided to fulfill his promise to Jashin, stood up to grab his Triple-Bladed Scythe that hung next to his bed, and pulled a prayer book out from his desk drawers.

However, the black straw doll that he had received the night before was in the same drawer as his prayer books, and he had to move that in order to get what he wanted.

"No way…" he whispered, shocked, and dropped the doll on the floor as if it had burned him.

"NO ****-ING WAY!"

"Hidan no Danna, what the heck are you doing up at this ungodly hour, yeah?" Deidara appeared in the doorway, half-asleep and rubbing his visible eye.

Hidan jumped and stared at the blonde like a deer would headlights.

"D-Deidara… i-it's you… ok… I know you're gonna think I'm ****-in' bonkers when I say this, but what the **** you would do if you sent your partner's name to the Hotline to Hell site, and this chic who looks Itachi's twin randomly shows up in your room, gives you a doll, says that you could be useful in the future, and leaves as ****-in' randomly as she came?" he asked in less than 6.23 seconds.

"W-w-wha-a-at…?" Deidara yawned, his left hand mouth drooling on the floor, the right, snoring.

"Oh- what the ****, man?" and with that, he grabbed the partially awake artist by the shoulders and slapped him across the face.

"Ow- what the _hell_ was that for, un?!" the now-completely-alive teen yelled.

"You weren't listening to my- oh, you know what? Just shove it and get outta my room, dumb*ss!" Hidan yelled straight back, pushing him into the hallway.

"You were the one who- gah! Forget it! I'm going back to bed…" Deidara growled, trudging back to his own quarters.

Still fuming over what just happened, Hidan almost forgot about what he was upset about in the first place.

"What to do… what to do… what should I do…" he paced around the room, every now and then, turning to glance at the doll he had left on the floor.

He stopped acting like an expectant hen when he tripped over his scythe that he had discarded as well.

"Maybe… I should just burn it…"

However, after trying every method of destruction he knew, including begging a very reluctant Deidara to blow it up, he concluded that he would have to hold onto it for the time being.

"I was right when I told Itachi that it was ****-ed up…"Hidan muttered under his breath after a whole day of attempting to wipe the doll's existence from the face of the earth, with no results.

In fact, every time he did something to it, it seemed to get stronger after each attack.

"Should I just put an end to it all and pull the string?" he wondered out loud.

"Pull what string?"

"Holy- oh, it's just you, Konan. Sheesh, don't ****-ing scare me like that…" he stood up straight and faced the Angel of Paper.

Her heavily-lidded amber orbs looked him up and down.

"Is… is that you, Hidan?" she started.

"Wha- what the ****'s _that_ supposed to mean? Of course it's me!"

"Really? You don't look so good…"

"Huh? Where's the mirror…" Running to the bathroom with Konan close behind him, he stopped abruptly in front of the vanity.

Konan almost crashed into his back.

There, staring straight back at the two of them, was not the young man with pale skin, slicked back silver hair, arrogant wine-red eyes, and well-built body they were used to seeing.

Instead, there was a very thin corpse, its gray skin stretched tightly across its prominent bones. Shadows hung under dull maroon eyes, and his hair that had once been bright and spotless, had been reduced to the color of tarnished metal.

Hidan fainted on the spot.

* * *

Uh... yeah. Cycle of Awesomeness, please! If you flame me, I'll use Doton: Otoshi Buta, Earth Release: Dropping Lid.  
Random ANBU guy: O.D., man, O.D....  
... my point...  
Thanks for reading!  
-InsaneNarutard0111


	3. Kakuzu's End

Sheesh, I need to update my other stories... here.  


* * *

Chapter 2: Kakuzu's Death

"Hidan… _Hidan… _HIDAN!" Said ninja sat up, wildly looking around, and yelled, "What did I do wrong, Ai?!"

Konan leapt back from his bed.

"What? Huh? What… what happened?" he calmed down slightly and stared at the Kunoichi that was frozen 10 feet away from him.

"You passed out after seeing your reflection in the mirror! So I dragged you over to your bed, then you were out for a couple hours, and the entire time, you were muttering things like, 'She's coming, she's gonna come…'!" She explained, then asked, "Who's Ai?"

Hidan just sat there, thinking about all that had happened in the past 72 hours.

_'I sent in Kakuzu's name, that girl came and gave me the doll, I accuse Itachi of doing it, he kicks me out, Deidara shows up, I attempt to ask him what he'd do if he were in my situation, he doesn't know, I kick him out, I try to get rid of the doll, it doesn't work, I change from a super sexy bad*ss to a ****-in' corpse, I pass out, and then Konan tells me that I've been ****-in' saying **** in my sleep.'_

"Hidan…?" Konan scooted closer to him, not sure if he was ok or not.

"Well" he said suddenly, scaring her, "The only conclusion that I've come to throughout these past few days is that, Hell Girl rivals Ibiki Morino in the area of mindf*ckery."

"Hell Girl? You mean that one kid that shows up whenever you submit a name to the Hotline to Hell site? That Ai? Oh, now I get what you're talking about." Konan nodded her head, sat at the foot of his bed, and began to explain everything she knew about her and what she does.

By the end of the day, Hidan finally understood what he had actually done, and what was left to do.  
"So, what a minute, how do you actually know all this?" he asked after she finished talking.

She pulled the collar of her cloak down beneath her right collarbone. There, a small black flame encased in a circle marked her skin.

"I made a contract with her a long time ago. After Hanzō ordered Nagato to kill Yahiko, I sent his name in the newspaper, and she came with a blue straw doll. She told me what to do and what the consequences were. I didn't pull the string until almost 10 years later. Nagato and his Paths killed him immediately after I pulled it, and Enma Ai took his soul to Hell. I was left with this." She pointed to the tattoo.

"So… I'll probably see you in Hell too…" he murmured indistinctly. However, Konan caught it.

"'I'll probably see you in Hell too'? What do you mean?"

"Well… whenever she came, she said that I'd be useful… and I'm guessing that she wants me to help her out or something…" Hidan figured.

"Hm… that's interesting… why would she choose you?"

"She said something about me sacrificing for Jashin without a second thought… and that I'd be useful or some **** like that..." and his sentence drifted off into nothingness.

"Ok… when do you and Kakuzu go on your next mission?" Konan stood up.

"Huh? Oh… this week, I think… gotta find the 2 Tails…" he scratched his head, trying to remember what Pein had briefed them on a couple days before Enma Ai came.

"Alright… hope you get better before you leave. Bye, Hidan…" and she left his room.

"Yeah, bye… I think I'll go sacrifice a bunch of people… haven't done that in a while…"

_-After Asuma's Death- _(A/N: sorry, huge time-jump…)

"You sure you wanna let that kid go alone? He's severely underestimating Hidan." Kakuzu informed Kakashi, Ino, and Chōji. His masks charged at the 3 Leaf ninjas.

In the forest, Hidan was still under Shikamaru's Shadow Bind. However, the 5 minutes that Shikamaru had were coming to an end, and the nutcase he was holding onto started to get loose.

"Ah, that's better…" Hidan jumped out of the Shadow and swung at the Chunin, unintentionally drawing Kakuzu's blood instead of Shikamaru's.

After drawing the diagram with the blood from his own hand, he let out an excited laugh.

"I've been waiting for this…" he said to himself, raising the spike.

"Die!" and he thrust the point straight through his chest, unknowingly destroying one of Kakuzu's hearts.

"Hm, what a waste… Lord Jashin wouldn't be pleased…" he said out loud, not noticing that the kid he thought he had killed was getting up.

Shikamaru leapt at him and slashed at Hidan's neck, though not cutting deep enough to the point of death.

Recapturing him in a Shadow, the genius explained the plan they had going all along.

_'Impossible… for that kid to plan so far ahead…' _Kakuzu thought, after Hidan had mutilated his Water heart, and hearing Kakashi tell how everything worked out.

Kakashi rejoined Ino and Chōji once he pulled out the threads that had punctured his chest.

The Fire and Wind masks distracted the other Shinobi, while the Lightning creature took the place of Kakuzu's heart, resurrecting him. Soon after that, the other 2 merged with his body, switching into Full Thread Mode.

Meanwhile, Shikamaru began to walk towards Hidan.

_'I guess this is it…'_ Hidan thought, knowing the end was near.

"I suppose… you guys are gonna win this round. So long, Kakuzu." Hidan took out the black doll from his cloak, and yanked the thread from it.

* * *

  
Yeah, yeah, I know, short and sketchy, and not to mention I changed the ending, but, whatever. You can agree with me, but should I receive any flames, whatsoever, I will not hesitate to use Kageyose no Jutsu, Shadow Endgame Technique. Heh, and that's the one Shikamaru actually killed Hidan in...  
Shikamaru and Hidan: oh sh*t...  
Yeh... thanks! Reviews mean faster updates!  
-InsaneNarutard0111


	4. Hidan's First Job

Here!

* * *

Chapter 3: Hidan's First Job

At the exact moment Hidan pulled the string from the doll, Kakashi had struck Kakuzu with Raikiri, destroying the last of his hearts.

Shikamaru prepared to throw his cigarette onto the Exploding Tags that bound Hidan in the middle of the forest.

It flew from his hand and neared the first paper, Hidan ground his teeth to keep from yelling, and then it stopped in midair.

"Huh?" Hidan stared at the little stick that was 1 millimeter from blowing him straight to Saturn.

He looked at Shikamaru, who was frozen in the same spot he had been when he let go of the cigarette.

The leaves that were blowing past the 2 ninjas were stuck where they fell from the trees.

Then a fierce wind hit him, and looking up at the sky, he saw the burning chariot that carried Enma Ai descend like a vulture would its expired-

_'Or half a second away from dying'_ he thought bitterly.

-prey.

Hell Girl stepped out of the carriage and faced Hidan.

"Tell me. Do you wish to die a pitiful death like this" She motioned with her left hand towards Shikamaru and the cigarette that was about to spark onto the Exploding Tags, "Or bring impending doom upon your partner and the cursed for eternity?" Her other hand pointed in the direction of Kakuzu.

Hidan was at a loss for words.

_'Should I die from the work of a ****-in' kid and never been seen or heard from again or torture the **** outta Kakuzu and anyone else that deserves it?' _

Obviously, the latter appealed to him more than the former.

"Lemmee make Kakuzu burn in Hell." A sadistic grin wove its way onto his face.

Ai inclined her head slightly and murmured, "As you wish."

A bell sounded, the Exploding Tags disappeared, and the leaves swirled around 3 new forms, revealing an older Kimono-clad woman, a stooping old man, and a young-

_'Punk'_.

"Hone Onna, Wanyūdō, and Ichimoku Ren. They will be your companions from now on." Ai introduced the trio.

"Er… Hidan…" Said Shinobi dusted off his cloak and wiped the blood from his neck.

"How'd this guy come into the story?" Ren jerked his head towards Hidan.

"Hey-" The newest member of the Hell Girl circle was about to show the little-

_'*bleep*'_

-what it meant to draw down the annoyance of a Jashinist, but Hone stepped in front of him.

"Do not satisfy your anger just yet, Hidan-San. Not here. Wait until we have reached our target." Her calm voice immediately stopped Hidan in his tracks.

"Yes. Come…" Ai turned away, Wanyūdō followed her, Ren next, Hidan after him, then Hone brought up the rear.

They trailed after her through the impossibly dark forest, gliding easily between branches and roots, and emerged at the crater Naruto's Rasenshuriken had made.

"Where is everyone?" Hidan looked around, but saw no one; only Kakuzu who was lying in the middle of the enormous ditch.

He glanced at himself for a second, then did a double take.

His Akatsuki cloak was completely clean, his forehead protector resting on his collarbone, and his trusty Triple Bladed Scythe on his back.

He slipped his hand underneath the scratched out Yugakure plate and felt the skin on his neck.

The stitches from Team Zombie's fight with Asuma and his gang were missing.

So was the cut he had received from Shikamaru just a few minutes before.

"What happened?" He wondered out loud.

He received no answer, and his attention was brought back to Kakuzu, who, like Hidan, was alive and well.

_'Why the ****...?'_

Kakuzu stood to face the five.

Then darkness completely overtook all 6 of them.

They reappeared at the first assignment he ever went on, to assassinate the first Hokage. Hidan and Ai remained unseen.

The threads wove in and around each other, chasing Hashirama.

"You can't keep this up for much longer, Senju!" The thick, dark strings slid into every available space; between rocks, underground, through trees, until one finally grasped an ankle.

He began reeling in the other ninja, like a fisherman would a prize bass.

Hashirama was dragged backwards, face on the ground, and body limp.

"Now… I take your heart"

The threads moved closer and closer to the other ninja's heart, getting ready to rip it from his chest.

They punctured the first layer of flesh, and easily worked their way through the rest and behind the lungs, and wrapped themselves around the barely pulsing organ, slowly constricting and pulling it from its place.

Once the deed was done, Kakuzu let the body drop to the dirt, and turned to leave.

A hand grabbed his leg.

He stared down in horror, and discovered that the man he thought he had just eliminated was still in commission.

Then several other Shinobi that he had killed in the past rose out of the earth, all with open chests and eyes rolling back in their heads, and they began trudging towards Kakuzu.

"W-what?" He tried attacking them, but they were immune to pain and no matter how many limbs they lost, they'd just keep going until they covered Kakuzu.

Emma Ai moved appeared behind them, and began her curse.

"O pitiful shadow bound in darkness, looking down upon people, and causing them pain… A soul drowned in sinful karma… Want to try dying… just this once?"

She held out her right arm, and the flowers from the Kimono enveloped their world.

Kakuzu woke up. He sat up and the first thing he saw was Hidan, steering the small boat he, his former partner, and Hell Girl were riding in.

"Hidan?" He asked.

"Yeah…"

Nothing else was said except for Ai finishing her chant with,

"This revenge shall ferry you to Hell." as they passed under the red gate.

A blank candle was lit and placed on the alter.

* * *

  
Dude, the part where the Kakuzu gets cursed was like the hardest part to write! Like, seriously! Anyway, please review! If You flame me, I'll use Hachi Bakudan no Jutsu, and make a bazillion bees explode on you!  
Jibachi: crap, you better get outta the way...  
Thanks!  
-InsaneNarutard0111


	5. Discontinuation

I've decided to discontinue this and all my other stories, simply because I've lost my labor of love. I'm very sorry if I have disappointed, hurt, or insulted you in any way, but I have to stop writing.  
Yours 'till Madara dies, InsaneNarutard0111


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